The Lina Inverse Show
by Lina sama
Summary: I wanna let it out.... Lina talks to guests like Ken, Kenshin.... who have secrets they wanna tell
1. Default Chapter Title

  


  
_Lina walks out onto stage, her crowd cheering loudly her name._   
  
Lina: Welcome everybody to today's show! Today's theme is 'I wanna let it go!', where our guests have shocking secrets for that certain someone. Our first guest is a guy named Ken who has been in love with one of his co-workers, but let's hear the story from him!   
  
_ Ken enters and sits down_   
  
Lina: So who's this lucky person?   
  
Ken: His name is Aya.   
  
And what's he like? Or how did you fall in love with him?   
  
Ken: Well you see, the two ofwork at a flower shop together. And he has had a bad past. Months ago, his sister fell into a coma and she won't wake up. He's so depressed and all he does is think about her. Since this happened he became such a cold person. Me? I tried to break that cold barrier.   
  
Lina: And in the process you feel for him?   
  
Ken: Yeah.   
  
Lina: And basically you wnat to know if he fees the same way about you?   
  
Ken: In the long run yes! Yet I feel he doesn't like me.   
  
Lina: I don't think that's true. Well, why don't we see? I'll talk to him first and you go backsatge. Once i've talked to him, you'll come back in and tell him how you feel.   
  
Ken: Fine.   
  
_Ken exits_   
  
Lina: Well let's welcome Aya and see what he has to say!   
  
_ Crowd applauds as Aya enters._   
  
Lina: Hi. Do you know why you're here?   
  
Aya: No.   
  
Lina: The tittle of today's show is 'I wanna let it go!' U interested who wants to let it go?   
  
Aya: I came didn't I?   
  
Lina: In your case someone wants to confess their love for you.   
  
Aya: Is it Ken?   
  
Lina: Excuse me?   
  
Aya: Is it Ken?   
  
Lina: It sounds as if you're hoping!   
  
Aya: He's always there for me. I know that he can't wake my sis up, yet I feel drawn to him.   
  
_Aya turns a shade of red that clashes with his hair._   
  
Lina: So you're hoping it's him?   
  
Aya: YES!   
  
Lina: Well Ken get your ass back out here!   
  
_The crowd roars as Ken walks back out onto stage his cheeks blushing with embarassment as he was about to tell the one he love that he loved him in front of so many viewers._   
  
Ken: Aya... I'm in love with you. You're the only one my heart pounds for.   
  
_Aya's answer s in form of a kiss and the audiences claps their hand happy for the two men who crossed paths and found their love for each other._   
  
Lina: We're all so happy for you. After the break we'll meet Hitomi who has a secret for his lover that will change their lives forever!   
  
_commercials_   
  
Lina:Welcome back! Let's welcome our next guest Hitomi!   
  
_ Hitomi walks on the set to get glares from the audience. They are all expecting to see a girl, yet a young man walked out!_   
  
Lina:Hi Hitomi!   
  
Omi: I'd prefer to be called Omi now.   
  
Lina: Why?   
  
Omi: It all started weeks ago when I begun looking deep into my soul. the more deeper I went, the more I came to realize that I was meant to be a man.   
  
Lina: And you didn't tell your lover?   
  
Omi: He's not the kind of person who would understand. He has problems coping with his own feelings, I don't think he'd understand mine. So I told him I had to leave for three days and in those three days I had a sex operation done.   
  
Ken: You think he'd understand? I mean wouldn't it have not hrut just to tell him?   
  
Omi: Nakago is not the kind of person who understands these things.   
  
Ken: But if he really loves you, then he'll understand.   
  
Lina:Well, let's see what Duo has to say!   
  
_ Crowd cheers as Duo comes on the screen dressed in female clothing! He takes the seat next to Omi._   
  
Lina: Well this is sure a surprise!   
  
Duo: You should have told me how you felt. Instead I have to read through your diary just to know how you're feeling!   
  
Omi: Duo?   
  
Duo: Omi is it now? We should have discussed this. You know, I'll always be there for you. I understand and feel for you as well!   
  
Omi: Really?   
  
Duo: I'm a 100% behind you!   
  
_Omi kisses Duo and yet another happy end for the viewers to cheer for._   
  
Lina: My next guest is someone who has something wonderful planned for the one he loves! Let's welcome Kenshin!   
  
_Kenshin enters and the crowd roars._   
  
Lina: Welcome to our show! Now you have something planned for that love one, don't you?   
  
Kenshin: Well, yes. I want to propose to her. I know that she's been waiting, I've lived with her for over a year. I haven't made any moves yet, because I didn't think I was good enough.   
  
Ken: Well, let her decide!   
  
Kenshin: That's why I'm here. I want to tell her how much she means to me! I want her to know that I'm always there for her and no matter what I won't let anything happen to her.   
  
Lina: That's so sweet. Shall I get her out here?   
  
Kenshin: Yes   
  
Lina: Well, then let's welcome Kaoru!   
  
_Crowd goes wild as Kaoru sits down next to Kenshin. _   
  
Lina: Kaoru, do you know why you're here?   
  
Kaoru: No idea.   
  
Lina: Butyou do know this man sitting next to you?   
  
Kaoru:Sure it's my... I mean it's Kenshin.   
  
Lina: and the theme is, 'I wanna let it go!' Does that tell you something?   
  
Kaoru: Kenshin has something to tell me?   
  
Lina: Rather to ask!   
  
_Kenshin stands up just to kneel in front of her. He takes out a small package out of his pocket and holds onto it as the words are about to splatter out of his mouth._   
  
Kenshin: I've known you for more than a year. Each day we live my heart beats your name louder and louder until I have this pain in my chest that won't go away until I express my feelings towards you. They'll never ever go away. and I don't plan to either! I gave up my life as the Battousai and then as a wanderer, just to be close to you. That's why I want to ask you to be my wife.   
  
Kaoru: Kenshin. Oh Kenshin! How long I've awaited this moment! YES YES YES YES!!!!!!!! I'll be yours.   
  
_Kenshin hands her the ring. She looks at it and hugs him tightely._   
  
Kaoru: I love you so much!   
  
Kenshin: |I loved you since the moemnt we met and I'll always love you.   
  
_Lina rubs her eyes as if she was crying._   
  
Lina: Well isn't that sweet!I hate to ruin such a happy moment, but we have to go on break!   
  
_commercials_   
  
Lina: Welcome back! Our next guest is already sitting here! His name is Amiboshi and he's got a shocking secret to tell someone!   
  
Amiboshi: Hi Lina! Yes, I do. It has to do with a girl whom i really like, yet I'm not sure what to tell her anymore.   
  
Lina: What do you mean?   
  
Amiboshi: I wanna make a love confession.   
  
Lina: What's her name?   
  
Amiboshi: Yui...   
  
_All of a sudden someone in the audience stood up and ran towards the stage! It is Suboshi, Amiboshi's evil twin!_   
  
Suboshi: Why you little trator!   
  
Amiboshi: Why am I a trator? She obvious didn't want you. she told me to try and keep you away from her... and well feelings started to grow...   
  
Suboshi: Why you bad evil baka!!!!!!!!!   
  
_ Suboshi begins chocking his brother! Amiboshi who's not the pshyco amoung them sat there silently, awaitng his death._   
  
Lina: FREEZE!   
  
_Suboshi freezes completely not able to move. His hands remove themselves from around Amiboshi's neck. He gasps, but soon gets his breath back._   
  
Amiboshi: Miaka! I told you this wasn't a good idea!   
  
Lina: What? This was just a joke?   
  
Amiboshi: Yeah, Miaka wanted to see if he'd kill his own brother!   
  
Miaka: I guess he would!   
  
Lina: Well. If this was just a joke, lets move on.My next guest is Ryoga! Well, let's welcome him!   
  
_Crowd claps as Ryoga walks on stage._   
  
Ryoga: Hi Lina.   
  
Lina: Hi! What's your secret and who's it for?   
  
Ryoga: Well, it's for a girl named akane who's fiance Ranma is a jerk!   
  
_From the audience_ I'm here ya know!   
  
Lina: ignore him he just brought you here.   
  
Ryoga: Well otherwise I would have never found my way. I finally wnat to tell her about my curse...   
  
Lina: Which is?   
  
Ryoga: When I'm splashed by cold I turn into a black pig named P-chan.   
  
_All the people aside from Ranma are astonished._   
  
Lina: I have a question in the audience. Yes Ranma?   
  
Ranma: She's gonna kcik your ass when she finds out! You see she cuddles P-chan in very very close. and takes him places where she'd kill if any guy went with her.   
  
Ryoga: He's right though. But I wanna let it go!   
  
Lina: Well then. Lets call her out and see just how she racts! Welcome Akane to the show!   
  
_Crowds watches and claps as Akane enters and takes her seat._   
  
Akane: Hi Ryoga! Hi Lina!   
  
Lina: Hi. The name of the show is called 'I wanna let it go. Does this give you ay ideas?   
  
Akane: No   
  
Ryoga: I want to tell you something. I know if I splat it out I'll never be able to tell you!   
  
Akane: What?   
  
Ryoga: I'm P-chan!   
  
Akane: I don't understand you?   
  
Ryoga: Like Ramna turns into a girl, I turn into a pig.   
  
Akane: What are you talking about?   
  
Ryoga: When I'm splashed by cold water I turn into P-chan!   
  
Akane: Huh?   
  
Lina: Man, are you dumb! WATER!   
  
_Ryoga turns shapes into P-chan!_   
  
Akane: What happened to Ryoga?   
  
_She looks at the pig and takes him into her arms._   
  
Akane: Pchan, where did you come from?   
  
Lina: Oh man, Ranma! I see what you mean!   
  
Ranma: I have the hot water!   
  
_Ranma goes up on stage and pours the hot water over P-chan! And a naked Ryoag appears! This time however Akane does catch on! She catches on and screams! Then she hits Ryoga so hard he goes flying!_   
  
Lina: Well as we clear this whole mess up, we'll go to break.   
  
_ commercials_   
  
Lina: Welcome back. My final guests name is Tamahome and he's got something to say! So let's give him a big warm welcome to Tamahome!   
  
_Crowd rocks as they watch not Tamahome, but Zelgadis come out onto stage!_   
  
Lina: Zel? What are you doing here?   
  
Zelgadis: Well, I couldn't very well give you my name, could I?   
  
Lina; What are you doing here?   
  
Zelgadis: I want to finally tell Amelia my feelings towards her!   
  
Lina: But I thought...   
  
Zelgadis: I love her to death, you should know that!   
  
Lina: Shall I welcome her out?   
  
Zelgadis: Please do so!   
  
Lina: Well, let's welcome Amelia!   
  
As the doors opened Ameilia comes out dragging Xellos!   
  
Lina + Xellos: What's going on?   
  
Amelia: Well, it's pretty obvious that you're feelings for another are so strong, yet neither of you have the guts to tell each other! So we came up with this plan to get the two of you together in the name of true love!   
  
Zelgadis: It suited the theme perfectly.   
  
Lina: Xellos?   
  
Xellos: Lina?   
  
Lina: You're in love with me?   
  
_Instead of words his next movement showed all his feelings. He pulls her in close and kisses her._   
  
Amelia: Well, that would wrap the show up! Stay tunned for nexts week's show: Who will win the title Everyone's favorite Psycho?


	2. Default Chapter Title

# The Lina Inverse Show

  


### Lina: Just like I have the number one talk show, my guests feel that they are the number one in what they do. But is it really true? I think we can prove otherwise. and put an end to their egoistical minds. Todays theme is, I'm the best at what I do. Lina do you really think you can prove otherwise? My first guest is an acquatance of mine who is widely known for her justical thinking. She thinks she is so good, she could even teach the lowest scum of the earth to think justically. So let's welcome her out! Amelia!   
  
_Amelia walks out_   
  
Amelia: Hi Lina!   
  
Lina: Hi! Are you as justice freaky as ever?   
  
Amelia: What is the world without justice? Why should the world suffer under the evil, which it is suffering now? We humans deserve justice as...   
  
Lina: Well I'd save your little speech for our little game!   
  
Amelia: Hey! When I preach justice every one should listen to what I say! That's the first step towards...   
  
Lina: You talk all the time about justice. Well as the theme says Lina could prove you wrong, I think we can. Not that I personally want to prove you wrong, it's just well, some of your companions are annoyed with you. They want you to stop preaching...   
  
Amelia: How can you sya that? How can you think that I'd ever stop preaching the word of justice?   
  
Lina: Cuz you're losing friends.   
  
Amelia: Really?   
  
Lina: Yeah. Anyways back to the theme. We found someone who is just the opposite of you and really wnats to prove you wrong that you're not the best at what you do. His motto is "Justice Triumpfs!". Well let'sd welcome Sanosuke!   
  
_Sanosuke enters_   
  
Sanu: Hi Lina!   
  
Lina: Hi! Well, let's get to the rules of the little game.   
  
Sanu: Justice triumpfs!   
  
Amelia: Without justice...   
  
Lina: HOLD on! Without hearing the rules, you guys can't start debatting! I'm gonna give you both five minutes to debate with each other, from which the audience will determine which one of you is better at spreading the word. Oh! I forgot to mention only one statement from each side at a time, so our listeners can follow, unless it's obviously the smae point, just you're trying to explain it better. And Amelia, if you lose, will you tone it down by 75%?   
  
Amelia: Like justice could ever lose! You're on!   
  
Lina: Well, as it is lady's first I guess you can start.   
  
Amelia: What is a world without justice?   
  
Sanu: What positive points does it have?   
  
Amelia: Well, for starters kings like my dad help everyone to live a better life in a place where evil does not exist because evil got it's justice!   
  
Sanu: Look at me! Justice has never helped me out! I live and can't afford to eat! I live in a run down small box and can't even afford water. Where has justice helped me out?   
  
Amelia: Justice is there for everyone! It punishes all that are bad!   
  
Sanu: see? You can't even answer a simple question! And who put me in a bad position? The gouvernment!   
  
Amelia: Why the government is trying it's hardest to make the place a better place to live! All they need is time, justice and nothing will go wrong! Justice will help the world get what it deserves!   
  
Sanu: The government is the biggest crocks out there! What ever gives you the impression that they're there to help us get a better life? With the money they could be using to help us out, instead they buy military weapons to conquer more space for more power!   
  
Amelia: How dare you say that! Why justcie would never do something like that! It's there to help, not to turn good into evil!   
  
Lina: Well, that wrapes it up! After the commercial we'll find out, if Ameilia is really the best!   
  
_commercials_   
  
Lina: Well, welcome back! Our results show that... hum how shall I put this? Amelia, sorry to say, Justice triumpfs! Our audience was not to impressed with your justice and quite frankly only 2% agree with your no real arguements against Sanu! Well, then thuis proves it!   
  
_Almost in tears_Amelia: At least I don't stink!   
  
Sanu: As I said. It's because of you egoistical justice happy dwarves that I can't afford water!   
  
_Amelia can't hold in the tears, she runs off the stage crying._   
  
Lina: Well, I guess she couldn't take it very well that she isn't the best! Our next ego thinker is Allen who thinks he's the best at styling hair! Welcome Allen!   
  
_Allen enters_   
  
Allen: I don't think you should insulte your guests! Especially that poor woman. I wish I had seen where she ran off to so I could comfort her!   
  
Lina: Allen protector of all woman! Well, then let's see. You say that you're the best at styling your hair and also that you have the nicest hair?   
  
Allen: For a man. I have never seen how any man with as nice hair as I have. If there is one, he doesn't exist.   
  
Lina: How long does it take to get that perfect 'm' hold you have there?   
  
Allen: Well, on a good day up to two hours. I want to look my best once all those women are looking at me.   
  
Lina: Oh.   
  
Sanu: How many bottles of gel do you use per day?   
  
Allen: Almost one...   
  
_A person in the audience has a question._   
  
Sana: Isn't that bad for the enviroment?   
  
Lina: She has a point.   
  
Allen: It's not. That's hairspray you're thinking about, because it's in a spray bottle. It's bad for the ozone layer.   
  
Lina: Wow! I learn something new every day! Well then back to our theme. We have some one who also thinks he has the world's nicest hair. His name is Touga! Let's welcome him out!   
  
_Touga appears (he's the red head student body president in Utena)_   
  
Touga: Oh my god! I just love your hair! What shampoo do you use?   
  
Allen: My! Your hair! It looks like silk! I just love it! I use Herbal Essences!   
  
Lina: That's the one, which brings out organism...   
  
Allen: Huh?   
  
Lina: Haven't you ever watch my show before?! There's always that commercial!   
  
Touga: Well, she is right! That shampoo is really good for the hair. I use it too.   
  
_Allen touches Touga's hair_   
  
Allen: Just like I thought. It is silk.   
  
_Touga touches Allen's hair_   
  
Touga: Your's is just as silky.   
  
Lina: You too are supposed to be fighting for the nicest hair and giving each other complements!   
  
_A person in the audience stands up._   
  
mysterious person: I think I have nicest hair than you both! I am the emperor of China.   
  
Touga: But you are not a man.   
  
Mysterious man: But I am.   
  
Allen: But you're way to perfect to be a man.   
  
mysterious man: But that I am.   
  
Lina: What's your name?   
  
Mysterious man: Hotohori.   
  
Lina: So, just by looking at you, as you are way more attractive than those two clowns on stage, I think you win!   
  
Allen: I'm not a clown!   
  
Lina: Just look at your hair. This young man Hotohori and my Xellos have soo much nicer hair!   
  
Touga: Think as you wish.   
  
Lina: My next guests are coming out together. They're two females whom think that their bodies are the nicest in the world! Let's welcome Naga and Ranma.   
  
_Naga and Ranma walk out onto stage._   
  
Naga: Hi oh mighty flat chested one!   
  
Ranma: My! She's even smaller than I expected her to be!   
  
_Lina's face turns redder with anger by the second._   
  
Naga: I couldn't imagine being as flat as her... That would be hell.   
  
_At this point Lina is deep in thought._   
  
Ranma: And I'm a guy and am bigger than her...   
  
Lina: DRAGON SLAVE!   
  
_Lina blows up her two guests and her set at the same time.  
  
Lina: Well, I guess my show is over for today, but nextshow's theme is it's a secret!   
  
__Screen goes blank._   
  
  
Owari


End file.
